- The Empty Room -

Flatiron Building - New York January 2011

My Dear,

It is a Monday.

The past is an empty room now.

No one is here in my room. No one has been for a very long time. At least I think so.

I have covered my ears so as not to hear the sounds from the street. They distract me. They invade to my thoughts and to a specific moment which I want to live again and again.

All I hear is a whisper that says I Love You..I remember looking at you as a different kind of species once you said those words to me. I wasn’t expecting to hear them ever by such an innocent and honest voice. And I cried that night on your bed but those were tears of happiness for what you had said.

Often, I feel the need to bring you in my present. To talk to you, share with you my news, my new sounds, my new fears.

Fears, fears, fears..yes once my moto was “No Fear”.

These days though, I confess that I do have fear. I fear of changing. And the older I get, the more this fear arouses. I can see the change in me and yet I am scared to allow myself to become that change. I believe that many people must suffer from the same disease I have. The disease of being “Afraid of changing”.

It can be as simple as a wallpaper change to a house change, to a career change, to a life change, to a CHANGE of LOVE chain. A good friend told me to write lists of the changes I would like to do.

Today I made my first list. On the top I wrote:

i would like

to be in the empty room again ...

I must have written that because it is easier to return to the old than to be the change and embrace the new.

Together with this letter, I am sending you a photo I took last week. Its the Flatiron building but it looks as if it is a building with an empty room from the PAST.

You see, I cant change easily.

I remain in the past. But at least I am aware of it.

With Differente love,

- Garia August